Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil… Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear… Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
This is so difficult to carry out in my daily life, especially hard with the people you’re closest to. When my fiance does something unconsciously that annoy me or when he says something sarcastic that hurt me, my first reaction is to jump back and attack with another insult. Intellectually I know it’s not what I should do or it only detriments our relationship, but something about my sinful nature just is so quick to blame and to defend.
Luckily he is the most patient and considerate human being and rarely continues the argument with me on the spot. Being intentionally graceful to each other in times of high emotions is something that we had discussed before, and we try to “not let the sun go down on our anger” and always resolve an issue before the next day. Sometimes that means staying up until 3am to talk out our feelings. Another element I find really useful in conflict resolution is to pray together. At times when we’re still bitter about the arguments we just had, one of us would initiate praying together. And after we bow our heads and come before Christ with our insecurities and sins, mostly everything would lighten up if not resolve. Christ is so good about reminding us how He forgave our sins first, and how numerous and unforgivable our sins were compared to the speck that we see in each other’s eyes.